You Can’t Parent Your Parent – Or Can You?
So, you think you can’t parent your parents no matter what, well think again.
The key to turning the tables is communication!
How exactly do you do this when they won’t listen?
First, remember it’s very hard for them to hear they can no longer do the things they used to. They are the ones who raised families, worked all their adulthood (some beginning in teenage years), ran businesses, carpools, and took care of YOU!
Now you are taking care of them and it’s extremely difficult for them to deal with; it scares them!
To find out more about what scares them, read our blog titled, What are Seniors Top Fears? You might be surprised what they’re afraid of.
There are ways to effectively communicate with them so they don’t feel like a child. Make sure you talk to them, not at them, don’t scold them, praise them. Have respect and consideration when speaking to your parents, this is new for you and them please don’t talk down to them.
Remember how it felt when someone spoke down to you as a child? This is how it makes them feel too! Please don’t do it.
Let’s say your mom can no longer drive. Instead of telling her, “Mom, you can’t drive anymore because you can’t see, end of story.” Turn the tables and say something like, “Mom, I really don’t want you driving anymore because I can’t sleep at night worrying about you. I’m afraid you might get into an accident, will you please stop driving for me?”
No one likes to be yelled at or spoken to harshly, but if your mom thinks she’s doing you harm, she’s more likely to give up driving.
Don’t think you know what’s best for your mom or dad either.
You probably have no idea what they really want. You may think your dad wants you to hire a lawn guy, but maybe that’s his only outlet and he enjoys it.
Always ask before you make any kind of decision on their behalf.
Perhaps your parents no longer want the hassle of the upkeep on the house, but you don’t want them to leave it and you’re not ready to move into it or sell. So, you say you’ll hire all these people to help them with everything under the sun.
What are you really doing?
You’re creating more expenses for them and they’re still not happy.
Instead, ask them what they want to do. Do they want to stay in the house? Do they want to move to a condo? Do they want to move into an assisted living community?
If they choose to move into an assisted living community, they can start off in independent living and transfer into assisted living as their needs increase.
Should they require even more care than assisted living; most communities also have memory care.
You will need to ensure you find the right community so they only move one time! This is extremely important, that’s why you need a placement service or senior advisor to assist you!
Moving can be very upsetting and Assisted Living Made Simple wants it to happen one time and one time only.