Are you caring for a loved one or a friend and sometimes think you’re not doing a good enough job?
This is a very common feeling and everyone feels this guilt at some point in time. There is nothing wrong with you, it is completely normal to have these feelings and break down every now and then.
We will take a look at some of the common caregiver guilt myths and how to deal with them in order to help you overcome some of the guilt you may feel.
We also hold five (5) Alzheimer’s/Dementia caregiver support groups a month; please check our resources page for the location nearest to you, https://almsnsb.com/resources/
Myth #1 – You’re Not Doing Enough
→ Do you ever tell yourself you should do more for the person you are caring for? That you should be assisting them every moment of every day? That nothing is more important than caring for them?
Stop telling yourself this!! The care you are providing is EXCELLENT and it is the best you can do. Do NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. You NEED to take time for yourself, or there could be damaging health consequences to your own health. Then who would take care of your loved one?
Caregiver Burnout is real and it is okay for you to bring in help and go for a walk, to the movies, out to dinner, or whatever you like to do for a little while. In fact, it is recommended!!
Myth #2 – Why is my loved one not improving?
→ How about this one: If I was a good caregiver, my loved one would be improving physically and mentally. Wrong!!
Yes, sometimes improvements can be made, but the truth of the matter is that your loved one is aging. With aging comes declination in the ability to function physically and sometimes mentally. Some seniors have underlying health conditions that cause further declination as well. Nothing you can do will reverse the process, so stop stressing over it and beating yourself up!!
Myth #3 – I made a bad decision
→ Here’s another good myth: If I had made a better decision, things wouldn’t be going so badly. What does that even mean?!?!?
How could you have possibly known what the outcome of your decision would have been?
You made the best decision based on the information you had at that time. Stop beating yourself up, there’s no way you can see into the future and predict the outcome would have been any different if you had chosen a different course of action. Learn from the mistake and do everything possible to avoid making it again.
Don’t let caregiver guilt get the better of you; you are doing everything you can.
I cannot reiterate enough how important it is to take time for yourself! This is so important to your overall health; PLEASE make time for yourself during this difficult stage. Things are hard enough without you making them harder.
Also, needing help is nothing to be ashamed of!
We all need help sometimes; if you find you just can’t cope anymore and think you are alone in this journey, please know that is NOT the case.
Come to one of our local support groups; you won’t believe how much better you will feel just knowing there are so many others going through the exact same things you are going through and you may even learn some pointers on how to deal with your situation better.
PLEASE reach out to us for assistance! You are NOT alone!!